Hi there, fellow real humans (considering that I might not be alone),
Don't people these days feel more annoying, rude and complete jerks (mostly, thanks to my environment I defo don't think whole world is like that!). I had a very turbulent day which, just like other days, triggered overthinking in me and quite a bit much!
Firstly, my 3 consecutive test papers went bad. I don't know the reason behind it till now. I am blaming my time management skills during exams and my reducing focus span maybe? Still figuring... what keeps me going is just trusting the process and doing my job i.e. ofc learning and giving test. At least something in me is appreciable or maybe more which I don't know of bcs mostly I get kudos for my scores and all and never for my looks or wtv. Not that I want to impress someone (well it my coping mechanism for me myself believing I can't really impress anyone, iyykyk lol) but I think thanks to my ADHD (or overthinking thing self proclaimed but I do believe) I never feel my value or get real proud. It's just one thing after another!
Secondly, WHY DOES EVERYBODY IN THIS UNIVERSE TARGETS ME OR JUST ANNOYS ME, MAN!? MAKING FUN FOR ABSOLUTE NO REASON. For instance, there was in the coaching studying busy with my life, not caring about anyone but myself, and here comes the devils themselves. For no reason at all, some random ppl at the backbench started to make fun. At first its easy to ignore but let's be real, it's annoying when that little pieces of shitheads just don't stop, right? AND THE CHERRY ON CAKE WAS THE UPCOMING TEST AND THE PRESSURE OF PREV SETBACKS, HELL NA! So I couldn't balance it and released anger elsewhere bcs let's be real to the future me who hopefully fix this habit, that I am such a maniac or nerd wtv that I am not able to process what reply to give to that in real time in the heat of moment and later I wonder why didn't I say that and that's so painful and regretful. Idk why my brain is like that. If anybody reads this, someone extra smart pls I beg you contact me and tell me the solution to any of the problems I stated above (I am being both sarcastic and dead serious right now!).
Finally, now even random ppl who are in the background scene of my life target me hell na god why hell na!!!! While I am wanting to tell this right now, I won't bcs right now that moment is heated and nothing is just final. It's starting. I don't know about reactions yet and as I told above I am bad at working during heat of moments.
So thank you, stranger from the internet (and future me), for reading this blog where I just summed my inner feelings of the whole day!
This is Tejasv, signing off — from this very questionable universe.